Kimberly N. Alleyne
The Harvest Magazine, Publisher and Editor
Burning My Way to His Perfection
I am addicted to fire—the flames, the heat, the crackling and popping of the fire meeting oxygen. The more I mature in the Lord, and engage in day-to-day life activities, I realize that I am addicted to the fire because I need the fire.
I need the fire of God’s presence in my life, in every area of my life. His fire burns pride off my heart. It burns off anger, bitterness, vengeance, un-repentance, and unforgiveness. It burns off the impurities and blemishes that stain my character and heart, and that disappoint Him. When I ask God to search my heart, He burns me. When I chase after Him, longing for His presence, He burns…it’s a comfort to see the piles of ashes because they remind me that God is yet doing His perfect in me for His perfect will.
I am thankful for His fire.
His fire prickles my heart, shows me the error of my ways, those things where I struggle and need His strength—those areas where the enemy can easily plant his foot and have his way unless I stay in the flames.
There was a time when I ran from the heat—meaning I wanted God to do what I wanted, but I didn’t want to do what He wanted. I readily proclaimed the Lord is the head of my life, but was reluctant to acknowledge that I have a host of flaws, shortcomings and imperfections. I didn’t want to address my issues–strongholds–with pride, unforgiveness or fear. I didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t do it–fix myself–in my own way, in my own time, if at all.
Then He showed me that He is well aware of all of my gunk, and He is okay with it. That’s what “from glory to glory” is all about. He is the only person in my life whose love, or like, changes based on anything I do or say. He loves me completely and thoroughly.
He is perfecting every little thing that bothers me, and He is perfecting me. I am not in this by myself; it’s quite a journey to get that place where He sees Himself in me. It’s almost overwhelming, but He won’t ever abandon me.
And while rolling in His fire is a bit daunting, it’s really a good thing. He never has an intent to harm us, no matter how hard the task at hand is. We need the fire to get in shape for the work He called us to do.
Each time I pray for and bless my enemies, it’s a demonstration of the Lord’s fire roaring in my heart. When I put the needs of my family and friends ahead of mine, that’s fire demonstration. When I show love to those whose entire intent is to mock me, use me, deceive me, or persecute me, I am raging with fire. When I give till it hurts, that’s His fire at work again. We can’t avoid going through the fire. It’s hard and the very act of acknowledging our faults and humbling ourselves under His great “I Am” hand is H.O.T.! But His purification by fire comes with a reward:
“You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.” Psalm 66:12
There is love in His heat. There is restoration, repair and refreshing in His heat. Turn-around, breakthrough, redemption, understanding, healing, deliverance and miracles are all in His heat.
Please understand where the fire is; you can get “burned” anywhere: thanksgiving, reading His Word, serving, praise, worship, listening to a sermon, deep communion with Him, a dream…
That’s why I need that fire, why I am so unapologetically and hopelessly addicted to it. His consuming fire is what I need, what I long for.
That is why I chase Him—and His fire.