Faith, Fear, God, Hope, Intimacy, Praise, Prayer, Thanksgiving, Time, Trust, Uncategorized

I Actually Do Mind Waiting

And Psalm 27:13-14 And Isaiah 40:31 Are Not What I Want to Hear Right Now

Kimberly N. Alleyne
The Harvest Magazine, Publisher and Editor

For the last several days, Juanita Bynum’s song, “I Don’t Mind Waiting” has been playing on repeat on in my head. I used to love that song!! When it was first released, I sang it and hummed it, played the CD (remember those?) over and over at home, and played it repeatedly in my car. I piped out the lyrics without much thought; the lyrics were simple, pure, and they calmed me.

That was then.

Now? Not so much.

 

The truth is, I do mind waiting these days. Waiting on answers, directions, answers to prayers is hard, harder than it’s ever been. To be completely transparent, I am tired — real tired– of waiting.

There. I wrote what I have been thinking and feeling. Deep, deep breath.

I hear all sorts of clocks ticking in my head: the biological clock; the “I’m running out of time to complete God’s purpose for my life”; the “I’ll never meet my husband (or never marry) clock; the “I feel behind, like I have not accomplished much” clock; and then there’s the daily “there just aren’t enough hours in the day” clock.

Too many clocks. Too much anxiety. Too much fretting about today, tomorrow and the next day …

 

So what’s the answer? How can I silence the clocks in my head? I am well familiar with Psalm 27:14-14 and Isaiah 40:31; I have done my ample share of waiting, being still, knowing the Lord is God, and being of (semi) good courage. Really. And I’m tired; that’s how I feel in this season. Ex. Haus. Ted. For real.

 

So what gives? I am telling myself that I gotta get out of this pit. I gotta get outta here. Being fidgety, and anxious about when God will move, answer, provide, replenish, or simply speak is not a good place to be in.

Now that I’ve exposed myself, and admitted what’s in my heart, I should probably pursue a method of auto-correct. I need to be mindful not to be consumed with what, when, where, how and why. None of that matters. God is still sovereign and He is still on His throne. He is still El Roi, Rapha, Jireh and Nissi. God does not need me to apply any of my brain power in the details of my life. What He does need–and want– is my devotion, my faithfulness, my thanksgiving and my praise, and my love that is not contingent on when, or if He moves as I desire.

I need to fix my mind on all the lovely and praiseworthy things I am privy to, and that’s a lot of things to be fixated on. The wonders of the Lord are immeasurable, too many to put a number to.

I need to worship Him, deeply, purely and without distraction.

I need to remind myself that God has always answered prayers, provided, protected, delivered, healed, restored, repaired and defended.

Always.

And He’s never forgotten me, led me to a place or situation that was in opposition to His blessings favor or grace, allowed me to fall out of His hand, lied to me, failed me, or stopped loving me.

Never.

[tweetthis]I need not to be consumed with what, when, where, how and why. None of that matters. God is still on His throne. [/tweetthis]

So this time won’t be different. Why would it be? I need to keep my mind on Him, and remember all the many times, when I found myself in a season–much like the one I am in now–where I couldn’t find my way, when there was much unrest, rejection and spinning in circles, when I had no idea what my next move should be because the even the smallest hint of the future, near and far, seemed locked away behind a impenetrable stone wall.

Now that I think of it, this is actually a great place to increase my faith. It’s a time to draw closer to the Lord, to seek Him rather than His plan—I think in my seeking Him, He’ll reveal, in His time, all I long to see, hear, know, receive…He never fails to answer or reveal, no matter how gray or cloudy or foggy the road ahead appears.

When I consider things from this perspective, I realize that waiting can be sweet. It can be refreshing. It can be just what God intended it to be all along—and I guess I don’t mind waiting at all.

 

1 thought on “I Actually Do Mind Waiting

  1. LOVE IT! The catchy title got my attention. It made me realize that I DO mind waiting too. LOL

    But the sweet ending returned me back to where He wants me…accepting this intimate time with Him until the next season in life.

    In the meantime…Oh, the smell of those roses are sweet. Oh, look at that bird with it’s two babies. Oh, who’s cooking tonight? – That smells good. I’m so glad I got to walk today in this beautiful weather. Lord, thank you for where I live, it’s beautiful.

    Oooo, I get to hang out with my friends tonight. It was so good to be able to babysit so that my friend and her husband could go to a couples seminar. That was a funny movie – I love to laugh – makes me feel better!

    Thank you Lord for a rewarding job where I get to share You and what You’ve done in my life. I appreciate you blessing me with a car that has lasted 14 years with very few complications.

    Lord, I thank you for the adventure of waiting on You; You’ve been the perfect Companion. Thank you for fueling my faith and teaching me how to have patience when things don’t move as quickly as I think they should.

    Thank you for giving me a love for others that’s not based on what they do for me. Thank you, Lord for loving me when I go my own way and for waiting for me, with blessings in hand, when I return.

    AMEN!

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